Domestic Abuse: Love Is Not Pain

Domestic Abuse

Love Never Hurts

John 13:34 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

Today I want to take on the subject of Domestic Abuse. It can happen to any one, despite your age, economic status, race, married and unmarried alike. Teens even suffer this when they date. The problem with abuse, the victim rarely will speak out, or even reach out in fear that the person will get worse. Many victims suffer in silence by covering their bruises, laughing when they want to cry. You may work with someone that suffers abuse. You may go to Church with someone that suffers abuse, you may even go to school with someone that suffers abuse.

The last 2 weeks my neighbor and best friend suffered at the hands of a man she went to Bible study with. I want to share her story of survival before I even go into mine.

When she met this man, she met him in Bible Study. At first he said all the right things to make her feel wonderful about herself. She started going to Church with him. On four different occasions he had even hit her. Once he hit her all night long when she would go to sleep, only because she refused to go to the door when she needed some rest. When she let him in, her night was the longest night ever. He eve had her convinced that all her friends including me, was against her and using her. After awhile, she began to believe his words until last week.  Now, she has had to take a protection order against him. He has even called me relentlessly trying to get her back, my husband has even told him not to call here, however upon knowing my husband was at work this morning, he has called. I in turn handled it legally and called the police this morning. If it was not for the years I suffered I could not have been able to know how to help her.  The following is brief story of my first marriage.

When I met my EX husband I was 19 years of age. I believed the best of everyone and believed every sad story that someone would tell me. But that would soon change. 

I met my husband at work. He was on break, reading the Bible and studying out of a Strongs Concordance. He went on to tell me how he was studying to be a preacher. I had always wanted to be a preachers wife and bought it hook line and sinker. My parents tried to warn me about him, including MANY people that knew him. However I was smitten with his charm and married him against my parents wishes.  The first 2 years were quite wonderful. It could not have been better, but upon the 3rd year things took a horrible turn to the worse.

Now there are many forms of abuse. (Verbal, isolation, physical, sexual, financial) The list can go on and on. For over 11 years, I took all forms of abuse from him. I did not tell anyone because no one would listen. All my friends abandoned me but one. Her an I are still friends to this day. Anything that would come between him and me he would eliminate. Animals, friends everything he would make sure never stayed. I lost 2 dogs, one dog almost died and a pet squirrel from a broken back. 

When the abuser feels like anything is coming before them, they work on eliminating the problem. They need complete control over the victim. They use words to intimidate and tear you down. Even going to my own parents house, if I did not leave when he told me it was time to go, he would get very angry and take it out on me.

The day I knew it was time to leave was a day this comment was made, "If you ever leave me, I think I would kill you, because you are all that I have left.

Two weeks later I left with only what I could bring with me. I never looked back. I never  have seen him again since that day.

Now after I left he still could not own up to what he did, he told everyone what he wanted them to believe to make me a awful sounding person.

It has been several years since that day. I have never had to courage to even talk about this, much less write about this horrible time in our life.

I want you to know that Love is NEVER Pain! Love will never hurt. Love builds up, not tears down.

Gal 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
Gal 5:23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
Gal 5:24 And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.
Gal 5:25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.
Gal 5:26 Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.

 

If you, or anyone you know suffers from abuse of any kind, know there is help out there. There are shelters you can go to escape the abuser. They will keep you safe and do all they can to help you rebuild your life, one step at a time.

Here is a place to call to get the help you need:

Help is available to callers 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Hotline advocates are available for victims and anyone calling on their behalf to provide crisis intervention, safety planning, information and referrals to agencies in all 50 states, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands. Assistance is available in English and Spanish with access to more than 170 languages through interpreter services. If you or someone you know is frightened about something in your relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−SAFE (7233) or TTY 1−800−787−3224.

Here is a direct link to their page.
National Domestic Violence Hotline.

http://www.ndvh.org/

Overall, I am a SURVIVOR of Domestic abuse! 

Resources:

How to spot signs of abuse.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

Domestic Abuse Hotline for Men and Women

http://dahmw.org/

Domestic Violence

http://dahmw.org/

 

On a side note. I have been blessed with a wonderful new husband. we have two beautiful Children together. If you can only wait on God, he will send you the man that he wants you to be with. Do not settle for any less then what God wants for your life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

STANDING ALONE

The question that I want to start out asking is this... Have you ever had to "Stand Alone"?
Have you ever come to a point in your life when through situations that are outside of your personal control, you suddenly find yourself standing, as it feels in your heart, ALONE????

I must first state the following: I know that as a Christian, a child of God, WE, (Those of us who are saved and on our way to heaven.), are Truly NEVER alone because we have Jesus who promised us in His Word that He would NOT leave us alone:


Deuteronomy 4:31
(For the LORD thy God is a merciful God;) he will not forsake thee, neither destroy thee, nor forget the covenant of thy fathers which he sware unto them.

Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.

Joshua 1:5
There shall not any man be able to stand before thee all the days of thy life: as I was with Moses, so I will be with thee: I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.

1 Chronicles 28:20
And David said to Solomon his son, Be strong and of good courage, and do it: fear not, nor be dismayed: for the LORD God, even my God, will be with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee, until thou hast finished all the work for the service of the house of the LORD.

Hebrews 13:5
Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.


I am not talking about being alone, without God. This wouls be impossible according to the Bible, and again, I Praise God for this truth.


I am referring to those times when we, as weak human vessels, look around us and see attacks from every side! We are looking around for "Fellow Warriors", who are supposed to be fighting right along side of us, and we realize that we are "Fighting the Enemy all by ourselves! This is the situation and the prospect that I am talking about.


The stark realization that "Yes" WE ARE STANDING... BUT WE ARE DOING SO ALL ALONE!


REALIZATION OF THE FACT


Looking back over my short 40 year life span, I can recall many times when I have had that same feeling, that lonely, depressing feeling that seems to grow worse with the acknowlegment that the feeling actually exists in the heart, mind and life of a Christian.
No one doubts the reality of this feeling because at some time or other in all of our lives, we ALL have felt alone. This is usually a tough topic for people to agree with because of most folks DENY THE TRUTH, even when it is right there in front of their faces.


WHAT SHOULD WE DO ABOUT IT?


The answer to this is simple... Understand that in these times we are facing "TESTING OF OUR FAITH IN JESUS CHRIST"!

James 1:3
Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.

Ephesians 6:13
Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.


This is the simple answer: "... and having done all, to stand." If you will carefully notice this verse, the Lord says through the writings of Paul, by the Holy Spirit of God, that WE ARE TO JUST STAND... NO MATTER WHAT! Friend, are you feeling alone as you stand for the Father in heaven? If so... STAND! Preacher, Pastor, Missionary, Evangelist, Sunday School Teacher, Bus Worker... Whatever and whomever you may be, if this describes you... THEN JUST STAND IN HIM!


You will find many times that it IS a lonely road when serving the Lord, BUT if we will just look towards HIM, look to Jesus and remember that He too stood completely alone.


Matthew 27:11
And Jesus stood (*Alone) before the governor: and the governor asked him, saying, Art thou the King of the Jews? And Jesus said unto him, Thou sayest.

Matthew 27:27-31
(27) Then the soldiers of the governor took Jesus (*Alone) into the common hall, and gathered unto him the whole band of soldiers.(28) And they stripped him (*Alone), and put on him a scarlet robe.(29) And when they had platted a crown of thorns, they put it upon his head (*Alone), and a reed in his right hand: and they bowed the knee before him, and mocked him (*Alone), saying, Hail, King of the Jews!(30) And they spit upon him (*Alone), and took the reed, and smote him (*Alone) on the head.(31) And after that they had mocked him, they took the robe off from him, and put his own raiment on him, and led him away to crucify him. (*ALL ALONE!)


I know in my heart there are many who struggle with this same thing, Most folks have to deal with this on a "Daily Basis". May I encourage each one of us to "Take a Stand For The Lord and Keep On Standing... NO MATTER WHAT THE COST MAY BE"!


Keep On Standing!

Brother Dunn

Evolution: Approaching the Subject

Evolution: Approaching the Subject

Any of you that have teen age children will probably have a difficult time approaching the subject with them because they have already been thoroughly indoctrinated in the subject. You may feel extremely nervous about it because you may feel as if you do not know enough about the subject or about creation for that matter. You may be nervous about having proof for creation versus evolution, especially if you watch the Learning Channel you will see their supposed factual evidence supporting evolution and you can believe that your children have had this information provided to them from an early age. So how do you discuss it? First off if you haven’t been on your knees before God, surrendering your life to Him, I would not even attempt to discuss it with them because as I stated before if they do not see the obedience in you they are not going to believe what the Bible has to say, but if you have surrendered and committed your life to Him the next step is being familiar with the creation story in Genesis. If you have a study Bible use the reference verses to look up other verses that may have relevance. You can also go to Ken Hamm’s “Answers in Genesis” web site to help you in this area.

Whenever I speak to anyone concerning evolution they are always bringing up proof that supports evolution and that if the earth was as young as the Bible claims then there would be sufficient evidence to support it. The problem is not the evidence because the very evidence that they have to prove their point is the very evidence that we have to support creation the difference is the way the evidence is viewed. The important thing is to never lose your cool when discussing it when they can’t seem to see it your way. This is extremely important when it is your child because you are trying to reveal Christ through you. Remember that we are told that the world cannot discern the scriptures because they are spiritually discerned, so do not start by quoting a bunch of scripture. Now if you have younger children reading the creation story is a good way to start teaching them creation.

Much of science is best guess when it comes to determining the answer, while you run test you will always have a percentage of inaccuracy within the test to obtain the desired result so the way that the test is conducted depends upon the result that is desired. If all of my conclusions are based upon the fact that the earth is billions of years old then I know that the different strata layers depict age so if I have retrieved a fossil from the layer that I have already determined to be millions of years ago and I have run a test that shows it to be only a few thousand years old then I am going to add a percentage of inaccuracy to accomplish my desired age of several million years. Now on the creation side because I know from God’s word that the Bible is true then I do not have to add those percentages because the result is accurate. You see the evidence is proof yet it is the presupposed result that generates the difference.

Evolutionists believe in natural selection—that is real science, as you observe it happening. Well, creationists also believe in natural selection. Evolutionists accept the science of genetics—well, so do creationists.

‘However, here is the difference: Evolutionists believe that, over millions of years, one kind of animal has changed into a totally different kind. However, creationists, based on the Bible’s account of origins, believe that God created separate kinds of animals and plants to reproduce their own kind—therefore one kind will not turn into a totally different kind.

‘Now this can be tested in the present. The scientific observations support the creationist interpretation that the changes we see are not creating new information. The changes are all within the originally created pool of information of that kind; sorting, shuffling or degrading it. The creationist account of history, based on the Bible, provides the correct basis to interpret the evidence of the present—and real science confirms the interpretation.’

My point is that if we Christians really understood that all evidence is actually interpreted on the basis of certain presuppositions, then we wouldn’t be in the least bit intimidated by the evolutionists’ supposed ‘evidence.’ We should instead be looking at the evolutionist’s (or old-earther’s) interpretation of the evidence, and how the same evidence could be interpreted within a biblical framework and be confirmed by testable and repeatable science.

In my discussions I attempt to get them to let go of those biased opinions in order to see the results as they are. No matter how much evidence I was to provide for them, they will never see it from the Bible’s viewpoint therefore I must allow God to work in order to break down those presuppositions. When they realize that their logic does not make sense then they will change direction of the conversation to prove their point in another area and even go as far as denying their own theory when discussing morality. In my discussion with the atheist when he had no where else to go he then brought up the legitimacy of the existence of Christ and when that didn’t work he proceeded to call me a liar. He then changed direction and stated that even if there was proof of Christ and His miracles there was no proof that He was the Son of God.

As you look at the many changes in direction it is only to get you first of all angry so that you might say something that you shouldn’t say therefore they have you because if Christ was really the Son of God and you believed in Him the way the Bible says that you should then you wouldn’t say the things that you say, which enforces their theory of evolution with reverting to the animal tendencies. The other reason this is done is to get you to throw out one of the debunked evidences of creation such as the moon dust. You can find these on the Answers in Genesis website. The reason I say they are debunked is because again they utilize the presupposed results, in other words I can run the same test and come up with an answer that would also support evolution in the result. Again if you fall into the trap you will be ridiculed and any progress you had made up until that point will be lost and you will have to start all over again.

The one thing I love is to get them to begin thinking beyond the limits of their teachings, when they have to reach outside of the box in order to provide an answer it is like watching the light bulb go off in their head. The same thing can be realized in a text message because the order of their words reveals the thoughts going into what they are writing. In dealing with your teen it can be the same experience. The best way to discuss evolution with them is in nature itself because when they see the remarkable creation before their very eyes it is hard to deny. Of course the alone time with them is very important for the discussion because it shows them that they are important to you. The other thing that you have to realize is that by forgoing what they have been indoctrinated with at school they are going to be giving up a lot preconceived rights. They will have to begin being responsible for their own actions, which you will have to enforce. The purpose is to draw them to Christ not just remove evolution from their thinking. Again Christ does the work not you; your job is to be obedient to Him. Once we see them begin to understand it then makes it easier to show them the gospel because until this point it is important to remember that to them God has no power and Jesus was just a good man and not the Son of God. They do not see their sins as exceedingly wicked nor do they see their need for a Savior but hopefully with the aid of the Holy Spirit you can plant the seed that God uses to draw them to Him.